Maybe you've spent years being told you're not applying yourself, when the truth is you've been trying harder than most people realise. Maybe a diagnosis came later in life and part of you is still working out what to do with that. Or maybe you're wondering if ADHD might be part of your experience and you're feeling a little lost with it all?

 

 

 

ADHD is a difference in how your brain manages attention, regulation, and executive function. That's not too little attention but attention that's harder to direct on demand, pulled toward what's interesting rather than what's urgent. It affects far more than just focus too, motivation, memory, emotional regulation, sense of time and how your body manages stillness and restlessness all tend to work differently aswell.

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It isn't a lack of discipline or effort, often it's the opposite, a huge amount of effort spent trying to function in a world built around a different kind of brain. For a lot of adults, especially those diagnosed later in life, it comes with years of having tried to explain, fix or push through something that was never actually a willpower problem.

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Attention and focus

• Hyperfocus on things that interest you, alongside real difficulty starting things that don't

• Losing time without noticing or badly misjudging how long something will take

• Starting several things and finishing few of them

• Difficulty following conversations, instructions or your own train of thought/s

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Emotion and regulation

• Feelings that arrive fast and intensely and can be hard to bring back down

• Rejection sensitivity, criticism or perceived disapproval landing far harder and feeling painful

• Frustration with yourself that spirals quickly into shame

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Day to day

• Forgetting appointments, deadlines or things you meant to do, despite genuinely caring

• A restless quality, mentally or physically, even when you want to be relaxing

• Chronic lateness or last-minute scrambling, however much you plan

• Burnout from masking disorganisation or forgetfulness to seem "on top of things"

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Late diagnosis

• Relief at finally having an explanation, alongside grief for years spent not having one

• Looking back at old jobs, relationships or school years through a completely different lens

• Wondering whether you're "ADHD enough" to take the diagnosis seriously

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I understand a lot of this from the inside too, I was diagnosed ADHD later in adulthood myself and I can appreciate how disorienting it can be to make sense of yourself without the right information and then how much it can help to finally have some. That's not a claim to know your experience either, everyone's ADHD looks different but it's part of why I show up to this work the way I do.

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I don't see ADHD as something to manage away or fix, it's how your brain works and the goal isn't to make you function more neurotypically. It's to build a life and a way of relating to yourself, that actually fits how your brain operates rather than fighting it constantly.

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That might mean working through years of shame built up from being misunderstood, making sense of a late diagnosis or untangling ADHD from anxiety and self-esteem, since the three are tangled together for a lot of people I work with (myself included!). You don't need a formal diagnosis to start, some people I work together with are diagnosed, some self-identifying and some still figuring out where they land.

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If any of this feels familiar, I'd love to hear from you, no need to have it all figured out first before you get in touch.

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• In-person sessions at Burslem Enterprise Centre, Stoke-on-Trent (ST6)

• Also available online or by phone

• Free 15-minute introductory call, so we can check the fit before committing to anything

• £45 per 50-minute session

• Registered Member of BACP

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Get in touch by email or text/call, whatever's easiest for you, and I'll respond as soon as I can, within my working days (Monday to Friday).